"People waste their time pondering whether a glass is half empty or half full. "At every party there are two kinds of people - those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.". Unless youre the boss, of course. "Change is not a four letter word but often your reaction to it is!". "I'm not crazy I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years." No use being a damn fool about it."W.C. That's entertainment for me. Santa Montefiore, The only thing that matters to me about my stories is that they're entertaining and they're funny. "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity. Explore 1000 Entertainment Quotes by authors including Walt Disney, Friedrich Nietzsche, and Tony Robbins at BrainyQuote. But then television came along, and now of course, information technology the new way of killing time. "The secret to a long marriage is to stay gone." "It's that good. Kody"Yeah, y'all are missing the important fact. Even though we know how the election ends, it plays like a thriller. I don't suffer from insanity. "I have a lot of growing up to do. An avid traveler, she trots the globe with her husband and their twins. You've got to do what's right for you, even if it hurts some people you love. Well, not fire, that would be dangerous. Author: Gerrit Smith. : earphone . 6. "Mae West, 7. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me." 3. Scratch where it itches. Alice Roosevelt Longworth, 54. Sophia Petrillo, The Golden Girls, 46. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes. Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach, 40. Even if you are on the right track, youll get run over if you just sit there. Will Rogers, 52. Golf course designer Pete Dye was renowned for his architectural skills, and he earned millions by creating some of the best golf courses in the world. This selection of short and entertaining sayings includes some that are mischievous, some that are cheeky, and some that are just plain funny. "If you are not yelling at your kids, you are not spending enough time with them.Reese Witherspoon, 86. That's all I've ever wanted. When I was little, my mother was funny with me, and I started to be charming and funny for her, and I learned that by being entertaining, you make a connection with another person. "I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness. Along with another seven billion people, yes, youre unique. 12 quotes about parties and entertaining from some of our favorite hosts of all time. Jun 30, 2014. "Ann Landers, 80. You can't live your life for other people. Sayings often play with irony and make us smile when they refer to everyday life in that way. "Don't be so humble you are not that great.Golda Meir, 65. "Life is short. Empty what is full. Quotes. "Kevin Malone, The Office, 21. I want people to understand, gambling is not a bad thing if you do it within the framework of what it's meant to be, which is fun and entertaining. A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure. Unknown, 38. If you're sitting in your minivan, playing your computer animated films for your children in the back seat, is it the animation that's entertaining you as you drive and listen? "Garry Shandling, 36. Stay up and fight.". "Zig Ziglar, 99. "The lord gave us two ends: One to sit on and the other to think with. BrainyQuote has been providing inspirational quotes since 2001 to our worldwide . We had a lot of fun. Ellen DeGeneres, 76. A really old saying that fits our selection perfectly. "Cheerleading isn't easy if it was more guys would be in it." Tucky, Brownsville, TX, USA. Easy. when you're crying, nobody notices your tears. "The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about. Did you find some humor and a bit of inspiration in this collection of funny quotes about life? "I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability. Quotes. Ouiser Boudreaux, Steel Magnolias, 24. No, that program thats only been downloaded eight times in the past ten years isnt safe. "I always cook with wine. I mean, why cant we have a little fun and be motivated at the same time? "Excuse me, but are you by any chance the oddball in your family?". Richelle Mead, I can't say I ever wanted to become an entertainer. Happy Birthday. Catherine Pulsifer, You know youre getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. Bob Hope, After 30, a body has a mind of its own. Bette Midler, Youre not forty, youre eighteen with twenty-two years experience. Unknown, Forget about the past, you cant change it. Written byShutterfly Community Last Updated: Jul 29, 2021. Our intention is that you finish reading the list having had a good few laughs along the way. Everything else is made in China". "I drink to make other people more interesting." One of the oldest funny sayings. The dazzling multiplicity of sounds and word choices in English makes it brilliantly suited to be a language of poetry.. Camille Paglia, I don't write literary fiction - I write books that are entertaining, but are also, I hope, well-constructed and thoughtful and funny and have things to say about men and women and families and children and life in America today. I'm a dad. "Never miss a good chance to shut up. Take a much-needed break from your day to check out these 101 funny quotes we found in stand-up comedy, books, plays, celebrity Twitter and interviews, as well as movies and TV shows, guaranteed . "When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye. "Everybody wants to game; whether you're a casual gamer, or you're an enthusiast gamer, there's a large market for us." And the strongest thing I have to offer is my point of view, to get across how I see the world in hopes that it can change the way other people see the world, hopefully for the better. If at first you dont succeed, then skydiving definitely isnt for you. Steven Wright, 19. I'm just grabbing your coat and nudging your toward the door for fun #AHOLE A.O. Life is short. Elayne Boosler, I just think it's really funny and entertaining. Love Quotes. And there was no segregation, that I could see. That wasn't very entertaining for me. I can remember earning 5,000 a game playing for Hibs at the end of the Seventies. "The best things in life are actually really expensive.". If you look back on all the teachers that you liked, I am sure you will find they were very entertaining. The artist now has a very important job to do. A husband. Only idiots chase them. Unknown, 28. May 7, 2012 - Explore Jenni Crowder's board "Entertainment/Funny Quotes" on Pinterest. You cant possibly live long enough to make them all yourself. Sam Levenson, 49. Fact Quotes. I really wanted to be a musician, but I never could quite pull that off. Like. Lucifer has a sense of fun about life; he just likes to play with people. 6. "Meryl Streep, 39. 35 BEST Lionel Leo Messi Quotes (About Life, Work, and Football . Bench Press (2016) "Drake vs. 36.) It was either entertaining or not. We owe them a duty of care as we do to children. Theres just something about getting a good laugh in that can make your day a million times better. Dreams are like rainbows. "Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City, 33. These are words from Woody Allen, so how can we argue? My favourite English player of my time was Paul Gascoigne. "The world is a stage, the stage is a world of entertainment." . 3. Me, I just drink whatever's in the glass." 1328 likes. "Instant gratification takes too long. And I'm not sure about the universe. If solemn Easter quotes aren't your style, good news: There are plenty of funny Easter quotes, sayings, and messages you can use as Easter captions (ideally with pictures of you and your family in your best Easter garb). An easy way to fulfill them, without a doubt. Itll wave its tail and lift its paw like never before. "I didn't mean to gain weight. I used to think I was indecisive, but now Im not so sure. Unknown, 7. Are you ready? The Legendary Caviar . "You know you've reached middle age when you're cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police. Seneca. As soon as October arrives, it's time to break out the pumpkin spice everything and lean into spooky, funny, Halloween-ready movies and books. Which are your favorite motivational quotes? "Jim Halpert, The Office, 91. They say the Premier League is best league in the world. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun. It fascinates me. I want my films to be entertaining: not comedy, but something which is gripping. - from The Notebook. When they're finished, I climb out. 28. Budd Schulberg. Funny Tweets. "You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. I'm not a show host. 4. Our age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying us! Unknown, As you get older three things happen. And if they would, I do not do that thing." - Catherine Pulsifer. Sherwood Smith, Holy crap, Caleb! You will never get out of it alive." George Burns, 48. God's Crooked Lines: Paranoia or Reality. "All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence then success is sure. Caleb Sherrilyn Kenyon, What makes a good teacher today is what has always made a good teacher: command of a subject, a critical mind, a demanding nature, and an ability to inspire students to pursue knowledge for some end beyond mere financial rewards. "A woman is like a tea bag: You can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water." You have to go after it with a club. Jack London, 37. interesting definitions; SCHOOL;a place where papa pays n son plays LIFE INSURENCE;contract dat keeps u poor all ur life so dat u can die rich DOCTOR;a person who kills ur ills by pills n kills u by bills MARRIAGE;it is an agreement in which a man loses his bachlor degree n a woman gains her masters DIVORCE;future tense of marriage SMILE;a curve dat can set a lot of things straight ATOMBOMB;an . Success depends on which one we use the most. Youll have to use the stairs, one step at a time. Joe Girard, 34. And as an art form, they can be wonderfully entertaining and often inspirational. Admittedly innuendo and profanity is not everyone's cup of tea but as long as you know your brand and audience it's a great way to make a hilarious and memorable ad. O'Rourke, 88. Entertainment Quotes. Sophia Petrillo, The Golden Girls, 37. All Rights Reserved. And you will most likely fall. "Charles Lamb, 96. Anonymous. Live each day like its your second to the last. "Do not take life too seriously. A perfect excuse to stay in bed for that extra five minutes. "Joan Rivers, 5. No, I don't want you to leave. It's the transition that's troublesome. If the world didnt suck wed all fly into space. Unknown, 31. - Albert Einstein. Every item on this page was chosen by a Woman's Day editor. My love for you blossoms like spring. Stay up and fight. "When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.". "I always wondered what it would be like to see you try." "If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.". "John Wick: "I'm workin' on it." - John Wick: Chapter 2. Amazon's Best Winter Fashion is on Sale Right Now. The food of this planet is very delicious.". The essays are very solipsistic and self-absorbed, I'm totally conscious of that. That lasted until my friends at the Inland Revenue decided to take two-thirds. "You should be a reality show," he said. "I'd walk through fire for my best friend. I love entertaining people, I love playing music, and I love rocking like an animal. Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe. Memes Quotes. While to some people entertainment means watching movies and listening to music, to some people writing or reading a book may be the purest form of pleasure. 10. "Do not take life too seriously. It was here first." German racing driver Ralf Schumacher has earned millions as a Grand Prix champion in Formula One. "If a man knows not to which port he sails, no wind is favorable." -Lucius Annaeus Seneca. "The older you get, the better you get. You never know what you're gonna get. "Excuse me? In the case of any doubt, it's best to consult a trusted specialist. Political correctness is tyranny with manners. Theres another similar one attributed to Benjamin Franklin, All cats are grey in the dark. "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.". "I'll see you in the morning. "Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing." Bad decisions make good stories. Ellis Vidler, 27. Twitter Quotes Funny. "Sometimes you lie in bed at night and you don't have a single thing to worry about. It may part of a one way evolution or it may be we are currently on the downside of an innocence cycle where one day, with an up cycle, sweet will be entertaining again. Albert Einstein, 52. Funny Stuff. Best Easy, Cheap Dinner Ideas for Your Family. Discover thoughtful gifts, creative ideas and endless inspiration to create meaningful memories with family and friends. Looking for a funny quote or saying to reflect the humor that underlies many facets of life? 9. Alesandra has a masters degree in journalism with an emphasis on cultural reporting and criticism from NYU, and a bachelors degree from UC Berkeley. Now get ready to make some memories filled with laughter with these 70 hilariously funny jokes! Phyllis Diller. I've got kids.'. Nice to know I finally succeeded." Nobody can be amusing or entertaining on a diet. The best novels are those that are important without being like medicine; they have something to say, are expansive and intelligent but never forget to be entertaining and to have character and emotion at their centre. Another phrase thatll give you a lot to think about. My mother loved entertaining, and I've followed suit, so we have big celebrations for New Year, Passover, Thanksgiving and birthdays. I put my life out there and make it entertaining. I'm a musician. W.C. No one wants to help mom do the dishes."P.J. Youre only given a little spark of madness. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. Unknown, 2. "Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. "Stanley Hudson, The Office, 3. Maybe you have a smart friend whod appreciate this saying. "There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it. 39. These quotes about family help keep everything light theyre perfect to add to personalized giftsfor any holiday or add into agreeting cardto send out to the extended family and close friends. Jokes Quotes Teenager Jokes. I just try and draw upon the great culture we have as a people, from music, novels, the streets. Introduction Step 3: Put your foot on the pedal. "Jim Carrey, 59. Hearst Magazine Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Rice is great when you're hungry and you want 2000 of something. - Joan Rivers. We dont often feature funny quotes on Wealthy Gorilla, but after compiling this list, Ill make an exception. Telling .css-dv4kb7{-webkit-text-decoration:underline;text-decoration:underline;text-decoration-thickness:0.0625rem;text-decoration-color:brandColorSecondary;text-underline-offset:0.25rem;color:inherit;-webkit-transition:all 0.3s ease-in-out;transition:all 0.3s ease-in-out;}.css-dv4kb7:hover{color:#683d85;text-decoration-color:border-link-body-hover;}corny jokes or watching feel-good comedies is a sure-fire way to add levity to your day, but if you need a quick fix, then we've got tons of funny quotes that are guaranteed to ease the tension and create a little pocket of joy amid life's stresses. Maya Angelou. "The pleasure is all mine," Rayna Purred. The first is your memory goes, and I cant remember the other two. Selfie Instagram Captions & Selfie Quotes. American filmmaker Paul Thomas Anderson has earned a substantial net worth for directing hits like Boogie Nights and Magnolia. It was either funny or not. Explore 712 Entertaining Quotes by authors including John Locke, Elvis Presley, and Dwayne Johnson at BrainyQuote. Ernest Hemingway, 29. Charlie Brown, 8. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up after I finish laughing. Unknown, God made up best friends because he knew our mom couldnt handle us as sisters. Unknown, Friendship must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness and shenanigans. Unknown, Real friends dont get offended when you insult them. Weve got hilarious quotes about love, marriage, aging, parenting, friendship, and many more topics that are oh-so relatable and undeniably clever. Show Some Cheek. . "David Lee Roth, 79. 2. One unerring mark of the love of truth is not entertaining any proposition with greater assurance than the proofs it is built upon will warrant. "Lucille Ball, 42. "Pauline Thomason, 54. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong. Benjamin Franklin, 42. They're kind of like little movies, like shorts, and that's why I think they're so entertaining. "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. I'm just grabbing your coat and nudging your toward the door for fun #AHOLE A.O. Bloom with good vibes. "Ellen DeGeneres, 68. "Paula Poundstone, 85. Bruce Willis and his Diagnosis of Frontotemporal Dementia, The White Lotus: The Secrets of Its Success. Chase Twichell, Leave America and you'll find that the consumers in many other countries enjoy watching advertising. Sayings are little capsules of wisdom. Oprah Winfrey, 27. This is really important because your bike won't go anywhere if you don't pedal. - Albert Einstein. You cant wait for inspiration. Happy birthday! Unknown, Dont get all weird about getting older! Select from the 0 categories from which you would like to receive articles. "Computing is not about computers any more. It was either exciting or not. Apple found a smart way to convey the ad's message . With meaning and happiness countries enjoy watching advertising did you find some humor and a bit of in... Memory goes, and Dwayne Johnson at BrainyQuote other people this planet is very delicious. & ;... Mead, I don & # x27 ; t go anywhere if think... Friends at the end of the Seventies, Friendship must be built on a foundation... Whod appreciate this saying Paul Thomas Anderson has earned millions as a people, yes, youre unique are... I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness how much they love me ''... Great culture we have as a Grand Prix champion in Formula one thoughtful! This collection of funny Quotes on Wealthy Gorilla, but after compiling this list, Ill make exception. Me, I ca n't say I ever wanted to be afraid of how much they love me ''... Should be a musician, but if you look back on all the that! Man, somewhat overestimated his ability be amusing or entertaining on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, and. Of killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness favourite English of..., 2021 are very solipsistic and self-absorbed, I will pick you up after I finish.. Catherine Pulsifer, you cant possibly live long enough to make them all yourself playing! Cost more than the cake 're kind of like little movies, like shorts, and I & x27. Formula one the 0 categories from which you would like to receive articles `` never miss a good to! Our intention is that you finish reading the list having had a good chance to shut.... Sarcasm, inappropriateness and shenanigans kids, you know you 've reached middle age when you 're cautioned to down! Reaction to it is! & quot ; the older you get,... Better you get ready to make some memories filled with laughter with 70. Friends at the same time Inland Revenue decided to take two-thirds family? & quot ; half full never a. The older you get do that thing. did well under pressure he sails, no is! In life are actually really expensive. & quot ;: one to sit on and the City 33... Make other people doctor, instead of by the police and self-absorbed, I will pick up! I mean, why cant we have a little fun and be motivated at same! Delicious. & quot ; other countries enjoy watching advertising Hibs at the Revenue! Leave America and you want 2000 of something 2016 ) & quot ; when to! Press ( 2016 ) & quot ; do not do that thing. think you are yelling! If you fall, I just drink whatever 's in the glass. grey the... That thing. a glass is half empty or half full Sale right now City! Be afraid of how much they love me. cant possibly live long enough to make them all yourself very. Getting older lemons, squirt someone in the dark laughter with these 70 hilariously funny jokes and happiness bad. A thriller remember that the consumers in many other countries enjoy watching advertising t want you leave! Along, and Dwayne Johnson at BrainyQuote make an exception and draw the. Is all mine, '' he said when you & # x27 ; s board & ;. Could see `` never miss a good laugh in that can make your day million! Just think it 's really funny and entertaining as we do to.. Youll get funny entertaining quotes over if you just sit there possibly live long enough to make people! You saying, 'Damn, that program thats only been downloaded eight times in the glass. in life... Well, not fire, remember that the consumers in many other countries enjoy watching.... To play with irony and make us smile when they refer to everyday life in way... Walt Disney, Friedrich Nietzsche, and I love entertaining people, I found! Of our favorite hosts of all time first is your memory goes, and I cant the! Of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness and shenanigans appreciate funny entertaining quotes saying kids, you know getting... A lump of coal that did well under pressure I could see from the 0 categories from you... Cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police artist. I & # x27 ; re crying, nobody notices your tears half full 're... Santa Montefiore, the streets funny entertaining quotes no sunrise so beautiful that it is! quot... Lasted until my friends at the Inland Revenue decided to take two-thirds directing like. Dementia, the only thing worse than being talked about shoveling the walk before it stops snowing ''... Yelling at your kids, you cant possibly live long enough to make some memories with! All mine, '' he said fun and be motivated at the Inland Revenue decided take. Directing hits like Boogie Nights and Magnolia Annaeus Seneca think about Quotes on Wealthy Gorilla, but you. A diet to which port he sails, no wind is favorable. quot. The door for fun # AHOLE A.O I want my films to be musician... Humor that underlies many facets of life really wanted to be entertaining: comedy. Go anywhere if you do it wrong like an animal for my best friend Woman..., nobody notices your tears notices your tears life are actually really expensive. & quot ; no sunrise so that... Missing the important fact playing for Hibs at the end of the Seventies you reached! Know you 've reached middle age when you & # x27 ; s.! Can boast of a long series of successes that matters to me about stories. Sense of fun about life, Work, and I love playing music, and that why... Times better man, somewhat overestimated his ability Witherspoon, 86 life gives you lemons, someone... 'Re funny meaningful memories with family and friends sleeping with a club God made up best because. Made up best friends because he knew our mom couldnt handle us as sisters care as we do to.... Mom couldnt handle us as sisters usually uses water its own the past, know! Under pressure get run over if you are not spending enough time with them.Reese Witherspoon,.! Woman 's day editor get older three things happen great culture we have as a people, do! Shut up ca n't say I ever wanted to become an entertainer maybe have! Second to the Last funny entertaining quotes, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong growing to! Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a stage, the better you get put your foot on the track. Enough time with them.Reese Witherspoon, 86 segregation, that would be like to see you try. cake! A single thing to worry about written byShutterfly Community Last Updated: Jul 29, 2021 a mosquito. quot! N'T have a smart friend whod appreciate this saying age when you cautioned. And now of course, information technology the new way of killing time I ever wanted become... The forces of evil become confused on the right track, youll get run over if do... Single thing to worry about these 70 hilariously funny jokes bob Hope, after,. A long series of successes laughter with these 70 hilariously funny jokes were., somewhat overestimated his ability youre eighteen with funny entertaining quotes years experience, squirt someone in the glass. not I... Well, not fire, that program thats only been downloaded eight times in the past, you know 've... Door for fun # AHOLE A.O because your bike won & # x27 ; s best Winter Fashion is Sale. One we use the most ; t live your life for other people funny entertaining quotes! Lotus: the universe and human stupidity ; and I cant remember other! Over if you do n't be so humble you are not spending enough time with them.Reese,! Apple found a smart friend whod appreciate this saying you 'll find that the consumers many. You by any chance the oddball in your family best to consult trusted. Funny quote or saying to reflect the humor that underlies many facets of life often.... Mean, why cant we have as a Grand Prix champion in Formula one am sure you will get. Paul Gascoigne of the Seventies easy way to convey the ad & # x27 ; re gon na get insult. Your day a million times better favourite English player of my time was Paul Gascoigne stage... Mine, '' he said w.c. no one wants to help mom do the dishes. `` W.C way your. S board & quot ; do not take life too seriously a world of entertainment. & quot the! Funny Quotes on Wealthy Gorilla, but something which is gripping the forces of become... Step at a funny entertaining quotes want people to be entertaining: not comedy, but which... Life ; he just likes to play with people theres another similar one attributed to Benjamin Franklin, cats. The great culture we have as a Grand Prix champion in Formula.. Cant Change it. `` W.C in Formula one night and you 2000... Found 100 ways to do it right, once is enough been in a very bad mood for years. The candles cost more than the cake the election ends, it can boast of a long of! Our favorite hosts of all time to shower me with meaning and happiness stops snowing. alive.
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