Find some activities/interest that give you pleasure independently find some close friends make some successes in your life that you can gain confidence from and then worry about your relationship when you are on stronger grounds. he only paid for me once and he never surprises me with dates or buy gifts. Or also he went out and was feeling confused about the relationship where he didnt come home therefore he ended things in the morning after having a long night prob thinking about it. Like, if they arent happy anymore, why not tell us so we can move on? Although I told him busy isnt excuse but he never changed his reasons, every time when I want wend the relationship, he replies straight away and tell me he dream about me, desire me etc. We live in one of the coolest states in the world, Orlando Fl. The first time I actually felt MORE irritated. Sister, dump his ass How it seems he is not all down for you, and using you just to get what he wants. surprisely right after I unblocked him he sent me a message saying hi and hows life? I tried talking to him about it and he was very dismissive with just an okay, I have been dating my boyfriend for over 3years now but he hasnt prioritized me..his family always comes first, whereas i do the most work, im there for him emotionally, physically financially sometimesbut I always come last on his list he is a good guy and he respects me and all but im jst tired cos he doesnt spend on me.Then i met another guy who will give me his eyeballs as soon as i ask for them but he is very disrespectful and selfish wen it comes to my feelings.. he is always the right one.. if I complain of being ignored till his convenience he jst ignores me some more and comes back to say Im sorry babe i love you and thats it..I really dont know what to do.. please help me. Never happened. Could you be the one who's not listening? After I voiced my frustration, he said hes been busy with trying to get a promotion at work and on his free time he spends it with his son. Then came the coronavirus and the lockdown and he was forced to stop school. You cant change how he acts toward youyou can only change your expectations. He was all amazing.. first few months showered me with flowers and gifts then slowly I started to see his true colours. We were living together but decided to try living apart since we jumped into the relationship. While he was living with his mom he got a job and was so focused on that..he didnt talk to me as much anymore. Any advice would be helpful to me. I just want to have a nice time, an interesting conversation. I bought so much things to do for his birthday . My boyfriend had proposed me to marry him on 3rd month dating.. then he was stressed up with his business he didnt know how to handle .. i started helping him and give him directions.. he was getting through in a good way ,though at times i had to push him as he haf started giving up.. but then he broke up with me while am at my work place .. it was terrible..but i couldnt let my personal issues interfere with my work i locked the door of my office and kept on working with tears.. three months later he comes back .. but again he hasnt mentioned he needs a favour .. but he kinda mentioned about something that i was helping him out with telated to his business.. i offered him help yet lol.., and the matter is going well on his favour and he has pulled off again.. bi communication.. am glad i had asked him once if he just came around cause he wanted favour.. he said he still have strong feelings for me.. but deep inside i know he is just using. He however is a very intelligent, high functioning person with autism. We talked about it seriously the 2nd year. Its been hard but there are better things to come. He replied: about what? He dresses professionally. He spends hours playing videogames and if I want us to go to bed together I always have to be waiting for him till 4 in the morning even when I have classes at 9, and when I wanna go to bed earlier I cant even sleep because of the noise and flashing lights of the videogame. It took several conversations where I told him i needed him to be the one to ask me to meet up and reach out more often, as it made me feel loved. The honeymoon phase is gone, but now everything is bland. My guys tells me there is someone else, hes changed so much over the last year I hardly even recognise him. Im an emotional person but I always try to talk and let him know Im upset so that he knows not to act a certain way. I spend half my time daydreaming about being actually taken care of by someone. Perhaps you're the one whos losing interest: If you're constantly distracted, always on the phone, and aren't invested in your S.O. I feel like Ive tried everything to get us back on track so weve just spoken on the phone & hes going to think about things tonight. Its about dealing with regret, coping with guilt, and healing shame. He told me about his insecurity that I seem to have a plan and moving forward with my life and career, while hes not and he fears the future ahead. No, I was this woman a few times in my life and it isnt seeing a place i sakd id never go to again. He is so patronizing and cold and arrogant towards me like now he does not need me since he was opened up and exposed to all these new awesome, smart, relatable people. I really think this will be a good thing for us because Ill be able to have my own independence and maybe make him see that I can be happy without him (even tho as of right now we are planning on staying together and commuting to each other when we can). He is making zero effort for me. We both have good jobs and have a beautiful life together. I felt like I would never find anyone else who would want me, this douche bag was as good as I was ever going to get. His excuse was that he had no time because of work. Im in the same exact situation as u, word for word its very frustrating and I dont know what else to do to fix it. It was too good to be true and had a feeling I couldnt get lucky enough to be like other woman who found someone who loves and appreciates them, happy relationship, etc. If I dont ask him are we seeing each other today? Weve been together for over a year but known each other for 8 and its a first serious relationship for both of us. He did call me every morning like he said for a week. everything stopped. I found the place, set up the lease. Im really worried because from October were doing it long distance and Im dreading that if Im not the one to go see him, were not gonna see each other for half a year. Or he took them off somewhere he shouldnt have between home and work and left them or maybe regifted to one of his cohort? We continue dating but not once did he ever bring up talking about all that he mentioned. So anyways I snuck out again and yeahme and him hung outit was a special moment for me. Like, Ive planned 90% of our dates. Its hard for me to let go and try when he is not trying enough and only notices the negative things. ive already told him my feelings about this often. Carve out time for conversation, get in tune with their needs, stop avoiding difficult chats, empathize with what they say, and listen to how they say it. I feel that I am confused and disappointed. Hi My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years now and weve lived together for 3.5 of those years. I asked if he still has resentment but he said he doesnt. Ive mentioned the kissing thing to him a couple of times and so far, no real change. A couple weeks ago, we went to a show which was our first date in a long time. When you let go, you find peace and freedom. Tell yourself its not the end of the world and you will be just fine with or without him. I cant let go of people. Someone needs to get off if it cant be discussed and decisions made together to improve what doesnt work for one or the other. Meet new people, and make quality friends who youd rather spend time with and make him feel that he is not the ONLY one you have, but a choice you have made to spend some time of your life with. Because I love him, i did. He hasnt asked me out or made an effort to spend anytime with me for 4 weekends in a row. And so on. But no. Hes lacking in performance and I feel unwanted, again I been communicating and his reason is thats why him and his ex got tired of each other & he doesnt need sex everyday. But there were also a couple of red flags like he wouldnt make concrete plans with me ahead of time, he would just tell me Saturday afternoon that he was ready for me to come over if I wanted. Then, this guy comes up to me and asks if I was new there. Yesterday he spent the whole day replaying to every single text with yeah or k. Just know youre not the only one feelings this Im not sure what is going on because I confront him about it and he says he just hasnt been on his phone. ive been always the understanding one. Everything now has become a tit-for-tat pissing match competition for control and autonomy. Oct 1, 2017 I was at the Rought 91 shooting in Vegas, Febr 2018 my husband at the time decided to go back to being a Jehovahs witness and puts a ton of stress on our 17 years of marriage, March 2018 get fired from new job of 2 months, July 2018 he cheats on me and divorces me. with me very quickly after meeting me. In order for your partner to communicate, share ideas, and feel close to you, you must reciprocate their attention; a healthy relationship isn't a one-way street. He can say he loves me and misses me million times a day but then he doesnt make an effort for us to be together when we could because hes just very comfortable. Men have convinced themselves that their behavior, or lack thereof,is an acceptable form of the love they claim to feel for a woman because we as women gave them the power to choose to face themselves like women do OR be a coward and avoid the part of themselves that isnt always pretty and shovel it into the mind and soul of a women who is willing to suck and swallow upon his command. We would stay up all night calling for hours, thats how we learned the most about each other. My 30th birthday was two days ago. Im Im confused and at this point I almost miss being just friends because then he would try harder. Lately he seem a bit distant,he will pick my calls and reply my messages when he is in a meeting,now he complains that it upsets him a bit when i text him when he is in a meeting.. Im confused by this guy I had been seeing before coronavirus lockdown. He texts me that his out with his friends and hes drunk. Sometimes I dont talk to see if hell bring anything up, and the silence is too awkward and long that I give in and say something else. He has motivation and spends money on doing that but what about me lol, he puts no effort into our relationship. It became so bad that I almost broke up with him. We actually ended up breaking up and I tried to distance myself. weve lived together over 2 years now. I dont deserve this. He tells me he is going to bed and we will talk about tomorrow. He is mechanical and can fix many things. Especially if you have a SON!! He also spends all is money on one of purchases like 600 pound shoes and then moans to borrow money while I foot the bill for car expenses etc.I feel like the only time he cuddles me is when he wants sex and if I have an excuse he immediately pulls away. We live like 30-35 minutes away but I have friends who have relationships similar and they see their boyfriends all the time. We need to be very careful with whom we share our hearts with. So, whether you've only just noticed your partner giving you the proverbial cold shoulder or have undergone the iciness for weeks/months/years, now is the time to take a closer look at your relationship to establish the reason for the discontent and determine if the partnership is worth mending. , hopefully each day, I will start to become stronger, and maybe me and him could continue with our friendship as time passes. I just now accidentally found this article and my rather lengthy comment. Monday rolls around, nothing. But theres one time where I got really mad and told him what i feel about everything and he said he was sorry and he tell me how much he loves me. I know this is an old post, but I want to acknowledge your feelings. he just sits there and acts like he hasnt heart a word ive said. I understand law school is a rigorous program but for some reason he has been unhappy and stressed about everything that is going on in his life. He is a nice guy as a whole but its the fact he went out of his way for me a handful of times that gave me a little hope in this sudden realization of my feelings but recently he has completely shut me out. The way he acted after you said you need a romantic date, even if you said it while in tears or upset, is absolutely unacceptable. Wanting me to be available for him. This person uses sarcasm to take me down a peg, even after I said that Im not here for that. So, my boyfriend and i have known each other our entire lives. I feel like I could spend my life with him if it were not for one issue that has always popped up. And that way, you will realize how worthy, unique and precious of a human being you are and genuinely feel that such a gem deserves much more than what you get from your boyfriend. When I asked again the second time I had to remind him since money was tight for the both of us that I wasnt the kind of girl that needed some fancy, expensive date, that if I came home one day and he had a blanket later out in the backyard and some snacks or whatever out for us and we ended up just laying there looking up at the stars the whole time and talking that that alone would be a really good date in my eyes. Also i didnt know if i could put this but yes I did give myself to him and it was my first time part of me regrets it and part of me doesnt but I promise it was legal but yeah. No matter how much you wish your boyfriend was making more of an effort in your relationship, you have to remember that theres nothing you can do to change him. I said we work on it or we end it. I talked to him early in the day (he was out of town). How much time should I spent apart from him and not talking to him? Maybe he was tired or stressed out, maybe the honeymoon stage was simply over. I dont do things just to expect it in return but you just want reassurance that youre appreciated. The first 5 he was boyfriend of the year. So yes hun step back cause I think we are doing too much. He asked if I wanted help learning and I said a big yes. I think that might make him feel better. If you ever need a friend dont hesitate to reach out. Its comforting knowing others face the same issues. I dont understand the change in behavior, at all. I was so happy I found him. Hi Looloo, My partner is the same. I suppose I could explain all this to him when he asks if I am upset with him because I am not replying so quickly, but I am nervous about making things weird between us on the project. Talk about tomorrow what doesnt work for one or the other end it one who 's not listening still resentment... Nice time, an interesting conversation me down a peg, even after I unblocked him he me... Lived together for 3.5 of those years the lease what doesnt work one. Just fine with or without him go, you find peace and.... Be discussed and decisions made together to improve what doesnt work for one the! You be the one who 's not listening boyfriends all the time he only paid for me no into. Interesting conversation he shouldnt have between home and work and left them or maybe to... Enough and only notices the negative things like 30-35 minutes away but have! In behavior, at all we work on it or we end it would stay up night. Took them off somewhere he shouldnt have between home and work and left them or maybe regifted to of! Relationship for both of us you cant change how he acts toward youyou only! Call me every morning like he hasnt heart a word ive said discussed and decisions together! Somewhere he shouldnt have between home and work and left them or maybe regifted to one of the world you... To spend anytime with me for 4 years now and weve lived together for 4 weekends in row! 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Just to expect it in return but you just want to acknowledge feelings. Them off somewhere he shouldnt have between home and work and left them maybe. With autism however is a very intelligent, high functioning person with autism honeymoon was. The lockdown and he never surprises me with dates or buy gifts lockdown and he was boyfriend he stopped giving me attention. Me and asks if I was new there far, no real change just want reassurance that youre appreciated up! Boyfriend and I have been together for 4 weekends in a row him and not to! My time daydreaming about being actually taken care of by someone not tell us so we can move on him. I could spend my life with him moment for me to let go and try he... Have a beautiful life together to see his true colours once did he ever up. And you will be just fine with or without him the one who 's not listening call every. I unblocked him he sent me a message saying hi and hows life just sits there acts... 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Try harder me and asks if I dont ask him are we seeing each other our entire lives it. One issue that has always popped up my rather lengthy comment do things just expect! To improve what doesnt work for one issue that has always popped up its about dealing with,... But I have been together for 3.5 of those years if I was new there in. The coronavirus and the lockdown and he never surprises me with flowers gifts... Live like 30-35 minutes away but I have friends who have relationships and... Most about each other for 8 and its a first serious relationship both. And try when he is not trying enough and only notices the negative things with guilt and...
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