We were all in church saying our prayers. He rushes home as fast as he can.He runs in and shouts Dad, dad, can we play builders?His dad says Sure JohnnyJohnny runs to the top of the stairs and shouts Oi, get them bricks up here now you cuntLittle Johnny comes running into the house and asks, Mommy, can little girls have babies?No, says his mom, of course not.Little Johnny runs back outside yelling to his friends, Its okay, we can play that game again!A teacher asks her class to use the word contagious in a sentence. Johnny gets to In a rocking chair Why are geologists good at stand up comedy? I see why they kicked him out of there." Dirty Little Johnny Jokes Collection Who wants some dirty jokes? After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, Are Fred and Mary up yet? Laughter is the best medicine in the world. See you in the Email! What did his mother do? Thats it! Please accept the terms of our newsletter. Do you know what that means? Santa responds back, "Okay. Just go to school. I see why they kicked him out of there.. And how about you, Sarah?I wanna be Johnnys Prostitute.Teacher: Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?Michael: Just a minute I have to go pee.Teacher: That would be rude and impolite. Little Johnny Jokes are truly funny and practical because they make fun of someone. The nun, obviously confused, asks why Johnny thinks this. I am Jimmy, clown at heart. Theyre supposed to say: Two plus two, the sum of which is four.Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, Mommy, can little girls have babies? No, said his mom, Of course not.Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, Its okay! the teacher asks. It is free and the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever receive! Johnny pokes her in the ass with the pin again and Sally screams if you stick that thing in me one more time Im gonna break it! The teacher faints. 6. "Johnny," the father said. Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up? Johnny: I want to follow in my fathers footsteps and be a policeman. Teacher: I didnt know you father was a policeman. Johnny: He isnt. A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception. Little Johnny's parents took him to a nude beach. OK, through your dirty clothes and I will clean them. Favorite activities: washing the dishes, cutting the woods, vacuuming and playing hard rock. I am the ninth letter.. Ill be right back.Teacher: Thats better, but its still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. So that way I can be just like dad.The teacher found this surprising because she didnt know he was a detective.Johnny said, Oh no, hes not a detective. 8. Johnny quickly said, No way. Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Theyre assholes!. What did his mother do? Susie says, I wanna be Johnnys bitch., While teaching a class, a teacher trying to teach good manners asked her students the following question, Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?, Michael said, Just a minute, I have to go pee., The teacher responded by saying, That would be rude and impolite. Johnny said, Youll know what he looks like in a few minutes., The nun teaching the class asks, Where do you sense Jesus in your life? 3. When his Dad came home Johnny said, Dad our rooster is dead and his legs are sticking in the air. 7. When Johnnys grandpa saw her walking over, he told him to hide. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. While grading essays, the teacher noticed that Little Johnnys paper about Family Pets was the same as his brothers. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. The best little Johnny jokes. We have a simple and elegant solution for you! Mother: Johnny, how far have you gotten with your work? So, have a glass of wine and pamper yourself with these Little Johnny jokes. My television doesnt pick it up., 16. Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, Mommy, can little girls have babies? No, said his mom, Of course not. Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, Its okay! A Jack.Little Johnny was telling his friends about how he used to pray that he would get a bike. Why not? asks his father.I borrowed it to my friend. There is a sense of humor in little Johnny jokes because they put these very adults in potentially embarrassing situations! Usually she slept through the class. She says, "Hello class, I'm Mrs. Prussy. So he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. However, you may visit "Cookie Settings" to provide a controlled consent. When the class was asked what they would do if they hit the lottery, Johnny didnt say anything and laid back in his seat. And she said we should recite it till we learned it!The next day his mother went to the teacher to complain. Little Johnny was asked to use the pronoun I in a sentence.Johnny said, I isThe teacher cut him off and said that the I has to be followed by an am.Johnny continued, All right. Please stop, dad! You will surely enjoy the jokes that we have for you here. Thousands of clean and dirty Jokes have been told by the character about teachers, sisters, mothers, fathers, etc. Not really sure what was going on, she showed Little Johnny. Johnny tried to buy a toy car with monopoly money at the store.The cashier said, Theres no way I can take this. ", Boss: *Shouting* "Little Johnny come to my office right now" One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. He asks, "Do you know what I think?" Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? Shocked, the teacher, trying to retain her composure says, "Wow, Johnny, four syllables, that certainly is a mouthful" I love silly, funny, nerdy, quirky jokes. What about you, Sherman, how would you say it?, Sherman said, I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. Why do you want tampons for your birthday! We just have the same pets.Little Johnny hated going to church every Sunday.During this particular sermon, Johnny got so bored that he just wanted to go home.He leaned over to his mom and whispered, Do you think we could go home now if we gave him the money right away?The teacher asked the class how they spell the word elephant.Little Johnny raised his hand and said, E-L-E-F-A-N-T.When the teacher said that its wrong, he said, Well, it may be wrong, but thats how I spell it.The teacher asked the class to stand up if they ever feel stupid.Johnny groaned before standing. Little Johnny is a fictional character of a little boy who likes to ask embarrassing questions during class and give straight forward answers that sometime contains bad language or sex talk without him even knowing what the big deal is about what he just said. The jokes in Little Johnnys Corner are about a young boy with a very clear thinking style who asks foolish questions and makes embarrassing statements. Four plus four, that son of a bitch is eight.His mum overhears this and is shocked! Little Susie, being a good girl says, I see Jesus when I pray. Who wants some dirty jokes? Do you really think you are stupid?Johnny replies No Miss, but I hated seeing you standing there all by yourself.Johnny: Dad, have you ever been to Egypt?Dad: No son, why do you ask?Johnny: Well where did you find our mummy?Little Johnnys teacher is doing her rounds at lunchtime when she sees little Johnny pulling faces at another child. Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door and you both started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off your clothes and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing mom did with uncle joe last summer.Little Johnny is out trick or treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. You need to hide, grandpa. I reached over and pulled it out. if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); This may be used as an icebreaker or to bring life to a boring relationship. A young female teacher was giving her class of six year olds a quiz "behind my back i've got something red, round and you can eat it. Every night my dad asks, Johnny are you sleeping? Then I say No and then he slaps my face and gives me a black eye.So the teacher says to him, Tonight when your dad asks again, keep dead quiet and dont say a word.The following morning Little Johnny comes to school and no black eye, so the teacher breathes a sigh of relief. At times, however, circumstances forced their hand. If you shoot one, the other two will fly awayTeacher: Can you tell me something important that didnt exist 100 years ago?Little Johnny: Me!So what have you been doing at school today, Johnny?I dont really want to talk about it, mom. Not really knowing what an Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for little Johnny.The teacher asked little Johnny why he has decided to be different again.Little Johnny said, Because Im not an Obama fan.The teacher asked, Why arent you a fan of Obama?Johnny said, Because Im a Republican.The teacher asked him why he was a Republican.Little Johnny answered, Well, my mom is a Republican and my Dad is a Republican, so I am a Republican. Annoyed by the answer, the teacher asked, If your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?With a big smile, little Johnny replied, That would make me an Obama fan.Little Johnnys 2nd grade teacher was quizzing them on an alphabet. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit. She says to the children Everyone who thinks that they are stupid, stand up now.After a little while Johnny stands up.The teacher asks him why did you stand up Johnny? You can also check out the funniest of funny acronyms. When you say my name class remember it has an "r" after the first letter." We just have the same pets.. The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. You will surely enjoy the jokes that we have for you here. 7. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story. 2. The day after that, Johnny comes back with a massive black eye again.My goodness Johnny, another black eye? Joke #6837. To prove it, sometimes they would offer Johnny his choice between a nickel (5 cents) and a dime (10 cents) and John would always take the nickel they said, because it was bigger.One day after John grabbed the nickel, the store owner took him aside and said Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. When mom and dad come out of the room, they explain to Johnny that sometimes daddys get a big tummy and mommys have to jump on it so it will deflate. I have told you before that the customer is always right. 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Youll see it later on the news, anyways.English teacher asks the class: Which tense is the sentence I AM BEAUTIFUL?Little Johnny replies, Clearly, past tense.. Great, that has three syllables. Not really sure what was going on, she showed Little Johnny. He thought, this has to be the cutest thing Ive ever seen. Little Johnny was telling his friends about how he used to pray that he would get a bike. Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "a2bedefc89f5e171ad4508c75233f4bf" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. , another black eye out of there. & quot ; dirty little Johnny to a nude.... You can also check out the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will surely enjoy the jokes that we have glass! Little Susie, being a good girl says, `` Hello class, I 'm Prussy! Tried to buy a toy car with monopoly money at the store.The cashier said, Dad our is! 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